hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
