finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
