vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
