My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
