I wish i was in the wii world.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
