she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
