but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
