Sponge bath it is.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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