go do what you do best...puke behind churches
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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