I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
