She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
