Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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