never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
