Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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