lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
