if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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