he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize