She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
