you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
