the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
