just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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