I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
