woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
