I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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