It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize