I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
