Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You are the jesus of drinking
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
