We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
