Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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