Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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