I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
