i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
