I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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