At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
