I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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