My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
