Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
