I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
