It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
