Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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