her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
