So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
