Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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