Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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