i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
