can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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