I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize