She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
