It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
