Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
