I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
