Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
