I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
