I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
