where am i from again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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