After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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