i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
