When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
