i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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