One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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